He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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