i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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