i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
