i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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