whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
