you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
