Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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