Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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