Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize