my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Randomize
