Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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