just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
