..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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