so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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