After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
two words...techno handjob
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
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