Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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