What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
