Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
