dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
