she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
