okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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