Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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