was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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