Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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