This girl is more easily done than said...
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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