Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
