So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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