she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
