Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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