brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
