I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
