i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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