I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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