I am spending my child support on dildos
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
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