Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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