Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
