Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
