Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
