you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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