Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
