She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Randomize
