You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
