Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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