Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This is classic penis vs brain.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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