she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
