YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
