What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
