My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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