so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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