I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
we should paint friendship bongs
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