White coat. Heels.
i barfeds in our rink
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
