i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
