he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
