I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
