Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
