how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
