I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
