I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize