can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
